


Extinct species

by Cherrydragon26



Series: Zombieland Saga- Alternate Universes and Stories [3]
Category: Zombieland Saga(Anime)
Genre: All of it makes sense, Gen, Imaginary history, Made up number of years, Museum Tour, Original Character(s), Parody, but it really doesn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 20:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16353830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrydragon26/pseuds/Cherrydragon26
Summary: My theory of how zombies in this anime became extinct.





	Extinct species

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything except my own story.

It was just another ordinary day working in the museum. I had to give a tour to this group of high school kids and their professor. I stepped enthusiastically before them and announced loudly:" Welcome to the Zombie museum! Here you will find out all you want to know about the Zombie apocalypse we survived 32 years ago. How it happened, what did we humans do to defend ourselves, how did the zombies look like and much more. Follow me inside". I led them in, the kids chatting vigorously, while the professor just looked around.

Walking around slowly I talked and talked about this period that just always fascinated me so much. I could never get bored of finding out more and more about it. "If you look to your left you will see the source of all evil. The reason we all became zombies at one point". One of the kids huffed and asked disappointed:" What this can is the source of the virus?".

 

"Yes precisely. This can of broccoli is the one of the many that is thought to have contained the virus called  _Brassica zombities_ that affected all the people that ate it. After people ate it in a few days they died and rose up from the dead, going around and bitting other non-dead people, making them into zombies too".

"Yuck! Who would buy and eat canned broccoli?", asked one of the high school kids, shivering in disgust. I nodded, agreeing to his statement and commented:" I don't know, but those people are surely not normal. One of the main problems of canned broccoli, is that in general it doesn't look or taste good at all, when it is canned. It was never even attempted before, until some people came to the idea to make it. And in the process they caused a zombie apocalypse".

 

"But if everyone knew it could not be made, and it would taste horrible, why did they make it then? What could they have gained from it?", asked a small girl that had pigtails making her look younger than she probably was. "There are many theories to that question, but we still do not know the right answer", I answered leading them to another room, where there were many dolls representing how zombies looked like.

"What are those theories?", asked the professor, still looking uninterested in anything happening around him. "They wary from government plots to evil organizations, even aliens are thrown in the mix. There is also one that says it all happened because the people that made it didn't give a damn about safety, but they just wanted to sell something to earn some money so they could somehow live, because they were broke. There is also the one that says the zombies existed all along and they all planned for it so they could take over the world, but I think that one is a little far-fetched".

 

I came before one of the dolls, and I dramatically waved my hand toward it, continuing my story:" This is how the zombies looked back then". "They look awful", one of the teenagers commented, and I added:" Of course they don't look good, they are dead". I made a small pause to make it seem more exciting and then continued to pace around the room, the others close behind me:" There was not just one type of zombie though. They all looked different  from one another. Some of them didn't have an arm or a leg, or an eye, and some of them didn't even have a head. But they all walked around really slowly, and produced unintelligent sounds if they had mouths or vocal cords at all".

 

"Did they eat brains?", asked one of them, snickering quietly to herself. "No, as far as we know they didn't. But they still bit a lot, and always followed the humans around for some reason. Even though they didn't need to eat, it was believed that they liked the smell of humans and that is why they tracked us and chewed on us like we were their dinner".

One of the kids raised his hand and I pointed at him, saying:" Yes?". He smiled at me and quickly asked:" How did we finally defeat them or even better how did we fight against them?". That question made me laugh and I patted the kid on the shoulder, giving him a bright smile. "I will come to that soon. Come along now".

Leading them to the weapons room, I stopped and looked at the clock, registering I still have time and therefore I carried on. "In this room there are all the weapons that humans used in their fight against zombies". "Wow they are so cool!", one of the kids exclaimed. "Yes, they are. However they could not really be helpful much because you could not make a zombie stop with just a gun. Because they were dead and therefore didn't feel pain".

 

"If nothing else they helped people move around without getting eaten that quickly. Here is actually the real weapon humans used in the fight against zombies". "Squids?"

"Yes, squids. They found out zombies liked squids and they used them to distract zombies while the others escaped. And when they discovered the cure, they just injected it into squids and gave them to zombies. Who after they ate them, died almost instantly, and the world was rid of zombies once again".

"Doesn't that sound a bit too easy? I mean weren't there a lot of zombies around, more than normal people? How did we kill all the zombies again? Didn't there survive at least a couple of them?", asked one of the girls, looking confused and suspicious. "Nope, we killed all of them. That is the fact", I said, going toward the exit. Just before I went outside the exhibition I saw a couple of zombie girls running though the door, and toward us.

 

"And here you see a live specimens of zombies running toward us. They were thought to be extinct, but apparently they are not", all the people around me started to scream and they ran in different directions not looking back. One of the zombie girls crashed into me and apologized, continuing to run forward, while I just stood completely frozen. 

I stomped my foot on the floor, punching th wall and storming away, mumbling angrily to myself. "Great I will now lose my job, yet again. Stupid zombies appearing again. Why couldn't they just stay dead for once? Dammit, I hate all of this". I passed the custodian who greeted me cheerfully. I turned around, glaring at her and said:" I quit. This job just became useless. It doesn't have any meaning anymore. So I quit. Goodbye", I extended my hand, giving her the keys and my card, and quickly going in the direction of the exit.

I sighed loudly and stood outside on the rain, feeling heavy with sadness. "Oh, well, I suppose finding another job would be pointless. I will just return home now, and wait for another zombie apocalypse", putting my hands in the pocket of my jacket, I walked through the rain, toward my house, cursing my life and everyone in it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't have anything against broccoli, it is just when I found out that broccoli couldn't be canned, I just couldn't resist. And a lot of people don't like it so I decided to use it. I needed something stupid and ridiculous and it just fit too well.


End file.
